All in the Fullness of Time

When I was almost half way through grade 12, I was informed that despite stellar grades and an unnecessary number of academic credits, I was not going to graduate because I had misinterpreted what counted as an “applied skill.”  So in the second semester, I dropped whatever I’d been planning to take (History, maybe?) and registered for Foods and Nutrition.

At the time, I was pissed off about it, because I took school very seriously, but it ended up great.  It was a super easy class, I got a Food Safe certificate for taking it (necessary if you want any kind of food services job in my hometown), I learned possibly the only practical things I learned in all of high school, and on double-block Wednesdays, I’d have banana bread or whatever to share with my friends at lunch. Continue reading

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When Does the Penny Drop?

art, SeattleThis whole pregnancy thing – I don’t know.  It is just not sinking in.  I mean on one level, yes, I know this is happening.  Clearly.  I am not stupid.  And I planned this.  And I’m an excellent planner.  But my brain – it’s just not processing the information in the fully aware way I would have expected it to. Continue reading

I Think This Sort of Thing May Have Been a Precursor to the Fall of Rome

So my friends.  Have a look at thisSwarovski

Or, if you can’t be bothered clicking the link, I will tell you what it is.  It’s a list of services for women at this new waxing place near my house.  The beginning is pretty standard.  All the usual places people like to be smooth these days.  It’s near the bottom where things get weird.  In the add-ons.  Here, for the bargain price of $20, you can be “vajazzled,” which apparently means they will “bling your thing with swarovski crystals.”

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Just… just… why?  Is this a thing now?  I mean, obviously it is, but is it a popular thing?  Is this what all the other women are doing these days?  Am I behind the times with my crystal-free lady parts?  (If I am, I’m pretty sure I don’t want to catch up with the times.  Call me old-fashioned.)

The mind boggles.

Extremely Bad Manners

Ha ha!  I have fun plans tonight that I’m really excited about.  But how I got them was embarrassingly shameless.  (Which is why I’m sharing it with you, my lovely readers!)

oscars08bigAs you may know, it’s the Oscars this evening.  (They officially changed the name from the Academy Awards to the Oscars the other day, which makes one ask oneself, “Why bother?”)  I watch a lot of movies and this year I’ve seen most of the nominees.  I know awards shows are kind of dumb and the Academy is pretty out of touch with the movies people actually enjoy, but the Oscars are the one day a year when I wish I had a TV, so I could watch them.  If I had a TV, I would host excellent Oscar parties, with pools on who would win and over-the-top themes.  It would be epic.  (But probably also stressful.)  Continue reading

Love it!

Right.  My husband and I aren’t big Valentine’s celebrators, but we agreed that we really ought to do something for Valentine’s Day, you know, just because.  But we are short on ideas and don’t really want to go out, so thought we’d cook a “special dinner” instead.  But again, no ideas.  And we’re a bit down to the wire here, as you can see.

So I just googled “romantic valentines dinner” and I found this.  Kind of fabulous, folks.  It’s a quiz!  (I love quizzes.)  You answer a few questions and it tells you what to cook for Valentines.  Brilliant!

Pop Culture Cramming – Part 2 (Or, Bad Housewife Porn, Vampire Love Triangles, and Why I Should Probably Cancel My Netflix Subscription)

This is what the inside of my brain looks like right now.

This is what the inside of my brain looks like right now.

I can do high brow.  I like fancy food and good literature and “high art.”  But I am no culture snob.  I am also more than happy to wallow in the low brow.  Which is more or less exactly what I’ve been doing for the last two weeks.  See, my work went insane for a bit there, and my brain was burnt out.  So instead of reading The Satanic Verses, like I’m supposed to be doing for my book club, I’ve been on the intellectual equivalent of a sugar binge, in not just one, but two forms. Continue reading

Pop Culture Cramming

So, we have here that most rare of things, a gorgeous sunny Vancouver winter day.  It is truly glorious.  Am I going for a hike?  No, I am not.  I do not hike.  Much.

No, instead, I am sitting inside enjoying the light through a window, which is how I most like to enjoy the sunshine.  I may have been a cat in a former life.  And what else am I doing as I luxuriate in the sun and write to you, my friends?

I am boning up on pop music. Continue reading