I promise not to turn into a Mommy blog, but this happened and it was kind of intense, so I’m going to tell you about it.

So, as those of you who have both read my last few posts and can do basic math may have realized – I had a kid.  And I survived. Continue reading

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The Attention Span of a Newt

Hi!

Remember me?

I’m not hurt if you don’t.  I’ve been neglecting the hell out of this blog.  For any of you who may have been emotionally invested in my ramblings, I am deeply sorry.

I have an excellent reason though: my brain no longer works.  (Pregnancy brain – I thought it was an excuse people made for poor work performance and that it wouldn’t happen to me, but seriously you guys, it is real and pretty freaking humbling.)  Specifically, I cannot stay focused on anything for more than a couple of minutes.  Continue reading

Mars or Bust

Marvin_the_Martian_by_raelynn36I’m not really sure why I just heard about this, but it has recently made it onto my radar that a company in the Netherlands is recruiting volunteers to help colonize Mars.  I gather they made some kind of announcement in January and then started actively advertising that they wanted volunteers in April.  And thousands of people have already applied.

Whoa.

First those little robot vacuums and now this?  I think we can safely say we live in the future, my friends. Continue reading

I Think This Sort of Thing May Have Been a Precursor to the Fall of Rome

So my friends.  Have a look at thisSwarovski

Or, if you can’t be bothered clicking the link, I will tell you what it is.  It’s a list of services for women at this new waxing place near my house.  The beginning is pretty standard.  All the usual places people like to be smooth these days.  It’s near the bottom where things get weird.  In the add-ons.  Here, for the bargain price of $20, you can be “vajazzled,” which apparently means they will “bling your thing with swarovski crystals.”

!

Just… just… why?  Is this a thing now?  I mean, obviously it is, but is it a popular thing?  Is this what all the other women are doing these days?  Am I behind the times with my crystal-free lady parts?  (If I am, I’m pretty sure I don’t want to catch up with the times.  Call me old-fashioned.)

The mind boggles.

Tango Mondays (Ramblings of an Unfocused Mind)

That there is probably the most misleading post title I’ve ever written.  But I can’t say that I care.  (I’m afraid I’ve become a bit apathetic about the old blog lately.  Can’t really explain it, but I like to think it’s a phase.)

I am not currently tangoing.  For one thing, I’m home alone.  For another, I don’t even know how to tango.  I took some lessons once.  They didn’t go well.  In fact, if they had carried on, they may well have ended my marriage.  And I wasn’t even married yet then.  Either that or we might have eventually learned to tango.  That would have been cool.  I’d like to know how to tango.  Like the parents on the Addams Family.  Hmm.  Maybe we should try tango lessons again.  Ack!  No!  See, folks, this is how you get yourself in trouble even though you know better.  Continue reading

Alternative Festivities

I believe in celebrating.  Life is good.  Any excuse.  But sometimes the traditional methods just don’t work for me.

Take today.   Today is St. Patrick’s Day.  But I don’t drink.  And I don’t own any green clothes.  I don’t think Vancouver has a St. Patrick’s Day parade, and to be honest, even if it did, I probably wouldn’t go because I’m not a big parade fan anyway.  (Except that parade they have in the evenings in Disneyland.  That’s pretty wonderful.)

Photo from The Independent

Photo from The Independent

So what does that leave?  I think maybe not much.  And really, there should be more options.  Here is my list of possible suggestions: Continue reading

Why You Shouldn’t Place Bets on the Probability that Other People Will Stay Healthy

Let me first say that I hate hospitals.  I realize they are a wonderful thing, but I prefer to avoid them.  I spent a lot of time in hospitals as a kid.  Not because there was anything wrong with me, but because I had an accident-prone baby brother.  Accidents involving bikes, cars, fire, wood chips, glass — for someone who has been known to faint at the sight of blood, it wasn’t the most ideal situation for me (probably even less so for my brother.)  But I was cautious, and for the most part have managed to avoid being there for myself.

But now, my turn.

General Hospital

Continue reading