Alternative Festivities

I believe in celebrating.  Life is good.  Any excuse.  But sometimes the traditional methods just don’t work for me.

Take today.   Today is St. Patrick’s Day.  But I don’t drink.  And I don’t own any green clothes.  I don’t think Vancouver has a St. Patrick’s Day parade, and to be honest, even if it did, I probably wouldn’t go because I’m not a big parade fan anyway.  (Except that parade they have in the evenings in Disneyland.  That’s pretty wonderful.)

Photo from The Independent

So what does that leave?  I think maybe not much.  And really, there should be more options.  Here is my list of possible suggestions:

• Find a pot of gold.  I believe the standard methods involve chasing the ends of rainbows or kidnapping leprechauns.  I imagine this could easily take all day, but on the up side, it could prove lucrative.
• Practice your fake Irish accent.  Then go find some Irish people to try it out on.  I’m sure they’ll be very impressed.
• Read some Irish literature.  Oscar Wilde and Samuel Beckett are always good for a laugh, or James Joyce is effective if you want to impress undergrad lit students.  Marian Keyes is also very popular.
• Learn a new potato recipe.  Impress your friends!  (Bonus – It’s pretty hard to mess up potatoes, and pretty much everyone likes them, so you can’t go too far wrong here.)
• Find some snakes.  Kill em.
• Paint your house green!  Pantone’s colour for 2013 is emerald.  I’m sure you won’t regret it tomorrow.

So yeah.  Let me know how that works out.  Me, I’m probably just going to go watch the new Oz movie.

Later alligators.  (See, alligators are kind of green, so that’s vaguely appropriate.)