The Attention Span of a Newt


Remember me?

I’m not hurt if you don’t.  I’ve been neglecting the hell out of this blog.  For any of you who may have been emotionally invested in my ramblings, I am deeply sorry.

I have an excellent reason though: my brain no longer works.  (Pregnancy brain – I thought it was an excuse people made for poor work performance and that it wouldn’t happen to me, but seriously you guys, it is real and pretty freaking humbling.)  Specifically, I cannot stay focused on anything for more than a couple of minutes. 

I’m still getting things done, fortunately, but it’s in a style I’d best compare to the way hummingbirds seem to operate.  So sitting down to write an actual full-length blog post has been feeling out of the realm of possibility.  (I think this is only happening now because I am procrastinating on an online exam I’m supposed to be writing.)

I’ve done some stuff though, since we last chatted.

I went to New Orleans, where I held a baby alligator, heard some music, and had some fabulous desserts at one of Emeril Lagasse’s restaurants.  (I’m kind of a fan.  He’s one of my go-to chefs for online recipes.)

Me!  Holding an alligator!  I'm like that Australian guy who died by stingray!

Me! Holding an alligator! I’m like that Australian guy who died by stingray!

I went to the island to participate in the Thanksgiving thing and attend some brunches.  It was lovely.

I’ve been refreshing my skill set by taking an Organizational Behaviour class in one of the local university’s continuing ed programs, and kind of slacking off on it.

I had a three-day nervous breakdown based on crippling fear of health problems that it turned out I didn’t even have.  On the upside of this, said breakdown meant I spent some nice one-on-one time with my mom, which isn’t something that’s all that common.

I went to Science World when there were no kids there.  So. Much.  Better.

I’ve rediscovered the joy to be had from mandarin oranges.

And I’ve thought about writing a blog post.  But it just hasn’t happened.  And honestly, a good one might be a while coming.  That said, here are some things I’ve been thinking about.  You can imagine that each one had its own witty blog post to go with it.

  • This song is awesome and hilarious and makes me smile whenever I hear it.  However, I think I might have become less cynical in my old age, rather than more, because it feels less true than it did when I first heard it at the age of 19.  The idea that one can become less cynical with time makes me really happy.
  • I have just started a book called Me, Who Dove Into the Heart of the World.  So far so good.  It’s a book I bought my mom for her birthday based entirely on the title.  Because seriously, have you ever heard a better book title in your entire life?  I, for one, have not.
  • Why is grey such a popular colour for nurseries right now?  I mean, I’m all for not imposing gender-based colour schemes on your baby, but grey?  It’s kind of gloomy, no?
  • iGoogle keeps sending me messages that they are going to stop existing in a few days.  I am curious as to what will happen when I open the internet after it does.  It’s like I’m doing a scientific experiment.
  • Should I dress up for Halloween?  Or carve a pumpkin?  Or get novelty contact lenses?
  • My work is having a zombie themed costume plan.  What is the story with the whole zombie thing?  It seems like the zombie apocalypse, which I think originally started as a joke, has picked up way too much steam.  Seriously, do people really think this might happen?  Because it seems that way.  Do people realize that there are actual, real horrific things going on in the world right now?  Such that we do not need to be obsessing about imaginary ones?  Or are people really not obsessing about this at all and it is still a joke, but just a huge one that everyone is in on?
  • I should re-organize the closet in the room that will be the baby’s.  What should I do with my beautiful guitar?  Will I ever play it?
  • I have to go to the dentist.  Maybe I can convince them that the reason it looks like I haven’t flossed enough is because I’m pregnant.  I’ve read that that screws up your gums.  God, I hate the dentist.
  • Prenatal yoga is not the relaxing time I thought it would be.  It hurts.  And I’m just as bad at it as I am at regular yoga.
  • Having a kid is a great excuse to collect kids books, which are quite awesome.  Except for the Beatrix Potter books, which I got and which I have realized in re-reading are actually extremely boring.  Why does everyone like these for their kids?  Or is it that kids like them?  If so, why?
  • Oh my god Peter Rabbit, I am sorry to say, but you might be the most overrated thing ever.

    Oh my god Peter Rabbit, I am sorry to say, but you might be the most overrated thing ever.

  • I feel like doing a craft.  I think it’s going to be salt dough ornaments for the Christmas tree.
  • Yay, Christmas is coming!
  • Oh shit, not long after Christmas, I’m going to have to give birth!  Come on medical science, you have three months to figure out a better way!  I’m counting on you.
  • I should really go write this exam.  It’s not going to write itself.  (Oh, but if it could.  What a wonderful world that would be.)
  • I should also go eat breakfast.

Happy Saturday!

6 thoughts on “The Attention Span of a Newt

  1. You kill me. Let me know what modern science does about this birthing thing, because I’m with you too – find another way!
    Also, I’m going to nerd out for a sec. Don’t get novelty contact lenses… they are not safe if not prescribed and properly fitted by an eye care professional like an optometrist!!! I’m an optometry student, and if you want to know more, just ask. 🙂
    I also don’t think grey is a good nursery colour. Could be calming maybe, but mostly dreary. I’d go with a light green or something.
    AND I can honestly say I never really liked those Beatrix Potter books when I was a kid. I don’t get it either!

    • Oh wow, good to know about the contacts. I had no idea. And good for you going to be an optometrist! I always thought of all the medical jobs that would be the most fun – giving those tests and just putting glass in front of people that magically lets them see. So great.

      Yeah, we’re going for light yellow for the nursery because that room was already a nice light yellow, so it seemed the path of least effort.

  2. Ooh bullets!

    – Awesome book title.
    – I’ve seen gray nurseries combined with yellow/pink/blue whatever and thought they were lovely. But then my room is charcoal gray…
    – I have felt the same way about the zombies. So glad someone finally said it.
    – I’ll take the guitar! I’ve been wanting to learn.
    – Get the Velveteen Rabbit – it’s my go-to gift for new babies and much better than that Peter crap. 😉

    • Hmm. Let me think about the guitar. I’m not sure I’m ready to give up on the dream just yet. And I don’t have a problem with grey in and of itself – I just think it’s weirdly grim for a baby’s room. Bear in mind however, that I live in a very grey city. Grey walls in combination with the 9 months a year grey skies can be enough to kill your soul here. I remember liking The Velveteen Rabbit, but I’d have thought it was more for 5 year-olds or so. Not too old for babies?

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