I’m not hurt if you don’t. I’ve been neglecting the hell out of this blog. For any of you who may have been emotionally invested in my ramblings, I am deeply sorry.
I have an excellent reason though: my brain no longer works. (Pregnancy brain – I thought it was an excuse people made for poor work performance and that it wouldn’t happen to me, but seriously you guys, it is real and pretty freaking humbling.) Specifically, I cannot stay focused on anything for more than a couple of minutes. Continue reading
So, my evil gallbladder has been annihilated, and good riddance. I survived the terror that was surgery and learned that being stabbed by a doctor does not change the fact that you have been stabbed. It still hurts and your body still has new holes. (I did not ask to keep the gallstone. For some reason, this is a question that I have been asked several times. Only by guys though. Odd.)
I’m pretty sure these guys don’t have gallbladders either.
Another surprise was that when they told me I’d be able to go back to work after a week and a half, I somehow took that to mean that I would be completely healed and better after a week and a half, but I was wrong (which, in retrospect, I should have known, considering I’ve had paper cuts that took more than ten days to heal.) It just means I am well enough to go back to my desk job. I am going back to work tomorrow, but I am still being held together with tape, which is a disturbing thing for me to look at in the mirror. I am also still very slow-moving and if I bend to the floor to pick something up, my belly button feels like someone stabbed me again, which is irritating. But I improve every day, so I’ll not complain about that any more.
I really thought I would be writing a lot of blog posts for you while I was on leave. All that extra time without anything else to do – my expectations were high, I tell you. But the thing is, I was on pain killers. I was napping a lot. Also, when you aren’t doing anything, it’s awfully hard to think of things to write about. For me anyway, since my blog is mostly just show and tell. And being confined to a small apartment meant I didn’t have much to show or tell.
Also, laziness begets laziness. Continue reading
When I was in high school, someone decided the theme for all the literature we would read in grades 11 and 12 English would be “imprisoned lives.” We did read some great books, but it was a gloomy couple of years.
One of the more painful offerings we studied was “One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich” by Aleksandr Solzhentisyn. In case you’ve missed this one, (spoilers) it’s about a day in the life of a guy in a Soviet labour camp in the 1950s. It’s a rough day, by our standards. He’s sick and hungry and cold and he lays bricks and life is hard. But at the end of the day, he’s kind of happy because it was a good day, comparatively, I think because he wasn’t beaten and maybe someone gave him a cigarette. I don’t completely remember. I can’t say I loved this book. Continue reading
I am sitting here tonight in a fairly high state of anxiety. Sometimes things fall apart, and this month the thing that has fallen apart is my body. So it’s made for a kind of shitty month.
Here is an unfortunate truth about me: I have an attention span only slightly longer than that of a squirrel. What this means is that no matter how much I seem to love a new activity I’ve taken up, it won’t be long before I’m bored enough to make excuses to stop doing it.
What's that over there? I'm sure it's much more interesting than whatever I'm doing now.
I fight this impulse all the time, as I’m moderately confident that the rewards of most things aren’t immediate and take significant time and work to achieve. Continue reading
I went to the gym yesterday for the first time in weeks. I don’t know why I don’t go more. It’s one of the few things I love doing that is actually good for me. Continue reading