When Laziness Crosses That Invisible Line Into Criminal Stupidity

Rain, Rainy weather

Something in me is at once dumber and stronger than my brain

You know how some days you’ll be leaving your home, and a minute after you have walked out and are on the way to wherever you are going it starts to rain?  Usually it’s not hard, but it is also clear that it will get hard soon, and you have no umbrella.

Now the clever thing to do here, particularly if you are not in a rush (which I almost never am, having neurotic punctuality issues that get me everywhere about 20 minutes early), is to go back inside and get an umbrella.

Sometimes though, that seems like an awful lot of effort.  So you rationalize that it’s not raining that hard, it will stop soon, you’ll run, it’ll be fine.  Of course, that’s not what really happens.  What really happens is you get soaked and miserable and have no one to blame but yourself.  Your stupid, lazy self who could not take five minutes to go back inside and get an umbrella.

You know that move?  I invented it.  Invented it, mastered it and patented it.  Every time you do it, the universe mails me a quarter.  You’re welcome.

Under My Umbrella

yellow umbrella

So many choices, so long a winter

That’s right.  Someone got that song back into my head last week after I spent three years getting it out, so I thought I’d spread the joy.

Anyway.

I am fortunate enough to live in the small corner of Canada that was not created by some ancient vengeful weather god to separate those who are tough from those who are grizzly kibble.  Vancouver is what people optimistically term “temperate.”  We have a lovely summer, which is warm and sunny and pleasant.  On a good year, summer will last eight weeks.  We also have a rainy season, which lasts for the rest of the year.  And I believe that as of today, my friends, rainy season is upon us. Continue reading