I’m just going to put this out there to protect the innocent.

So.  I coloured my hair the other night.   Medium brown with a bit of red in it, which is pretty close to my natural colour except that my hair has been going grey since I was 24 and I’m still too vain to give in to it just yet.  I did it myself from a box, and in the middle of the process I dropped the applicator bottle and it hit my shirt on the way down.  It put a big stain on my shirt.

I am telling you this in case I randomly disappear, because frankly, that stain looks an awful lot like dried blood and under the wrong circumstances, and if I weren’t around to dispute the idea, someone might get the impression that I was stabbed in the stomach.  (Was I watching gangster movies on the weekend?  Yes, yes I was.)

Let me confirm that I was not and have never been stabbed in the stomach.  Or anywhere.  I actually work quite hard to avoid the types of situation that might result in a stabbing.  (Although I’ve been told that I accidentally stabbed my best friend in the hand with a pencil in the fifth grade.  I have no recollection of this, so I guess I blocked it out or something.  She, however — oddly enough — remembers it quite well.  She’s still my friend though, so I guess she didn’t hold it against me.)  Just now I briefly considered taking a photo of my stomach for you to show how wonderfully unstabbed it is, but I am just not that confident about my abs or lack thereof.  So you’ll just have to take my word for it.

I mean, I am writing this, so I think that’s some kind of proof anyway.

See this shirt here?  Not evidence of anything.

Love, Hate, Beauty, Pain, and Endless, Groundless Optimism

Witness: the beautiful shoe.  It is a wonderful thing to behold.  In itself it is a design marvel: elegant lines, quality materials, modern details, and my god, that colour.  On you, it brings out who you want to be: a little taller, a little thinner, a little more pulled together.  You walk straighter and feel a little more confident.  In these shoes, you feel like you have the potential to be the best possible version of yourself.

From Edward Monkton's great little book, "The Shoes of Salvation"

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