The Attention Span of a Newt

Hi!

Remember me?

I’m not hurt if you don’t.  I’ve been neglecting the hell out of this blog.  For any of you who may have been emotionally invested in my ramblings, I am deeply sorry.

I have an excellent reason though: my brain no longer works.  (Pregnancy brain – I thought it was an excuse people made for poor work performance and that it wouldn’t happen to me, but seriously you guys, it is real and pretty freaking humbling.)  Specifically, I cannot stay focused on anything for more than a couple of minutes.  Continue reading

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When Does the Penny Drop?

art, SeattleThis whole pregnancy thing – I don’t know.  It is just not sinking in.  I mean on one level, yes, I know this is happening.  Clearly.  I am not stupid.  And I planned this.  And I’m an excellent planner.  But my brain – it’s just not processing the information in the fully aware way I would have expected it to. Continue reading

Mars or Bust

Marvin_the_Martian_by_raelynn36I’m not really sure why I just heard about this, but it has recently made it onto my radar that a company in the Netherlands is recruiting volunteers to help colonize Mars.  I gather they made some kind of announcement in January and then started actively advertising that they wanted volunteers in April.  And thousands of people have already applied.

Whoa.

First those little robot vacuums and now this?  I think we can safely say we live in the future, my friends. Continue reading

The Passing of Time Makes Me a Liar

Window in SavannahThere are things I thought I’d never do.  I thought I’d never like avocados.  And then one day I did.  I thought I’d never get a “real job” that lasted more than a year or two, but I’m an accountant and next week is my sixth anniversary with my employer.  I thought I’d never own furniture or live in any one city for more than a couple of years, but then I bought real estate.  I thought I’d never get married (not because of any fundamental opposition to the idea, but because my list of criteria of what would make an acceptable life partner sounded shockingly unrealistic), but then I met a guy who ticked all my boxes.

This is what time does.  It takes your ideas of how your life is going to go and it laughs.  I’ve always known that.  My life plans have never been solid.  If something doesn’t work out, I’m ok to move on and if an unexpected opportunity arises, I’m happy to go for it.  Or if my whims take me somewhere I didn’t know I wanted to go, I trust myself and see how it works out.  As a rule, this has gone well for me.

But we’re talking here about vague plans.  Things I thought I’d do.  Things I thought I’d never do.

But then there are the things I swore I’d never do.  The things so based on my understanding of myself that I never questioned that I might change my mind on them. Continue reading

Solo travel and confirming that not everyone on the internet is a serial killer

I went traveling again, chickens.  And I went alone.

One of many gorgeous buildings in Charleston

One of many gorgeous buildings in Charleston

I haven’t traveled alone in quite a while, to be honest.  My husband is my usual travel partner and I intersperse that with occasional short trips with a friend or my mother.  A ten-day trip by myself though, it’s been a while.  And it’s a whole other kettle of fish.  But there’s something to be said for that kettle.

When you are alone, there is no one to consider but yourself.  You don’t have to make any compromises whatsoever.  You can make plans for the day and then break them for no other reason than that you just don’t feel like it anymore.  And you don’t have to feel bad that someone is going to be disappointed about that.  You can unilaterally decide where and when to eat, what side of the street to walk on, and when to have naps.  (I love my naps.)  It’s kind of wonderful.

When you are in a long-term relationship, there is also the side benefit of having a chance to miss your partner.  I don’t think the loveliness of a reunion after a week or two apart can be overstated.

In case you’re wondering, I went to Charleston and Savannah.  I understand that these are major tourist destinations for Americans, but here on the West coast of Canada, when I told people where I was going, they all said something along the perplexed lines of, “Huh.  I don’t know anything about those places.  Do you have family there?  No?  How did you pick that?”  And I can’t say I even had a satisfactory answer.  The truth is that I thought Charleston sounded like an interesting name and when I looked it up on the internet, it looked pretty.  And I figured that while I was in that neck of the woods, I might as well go to Savannah too, because it was close and I had also heard of it. Continue reading

I Think This Sort of Thing May Have Been a Precursor to the Fall of Rome

So my friends.  Have a look at thisSwarovski

Or, if you can’t be bothered clicking the link, I will tell you what it is.  It’s a list of services for women at this new waxing place near my house.  The beginning is pretty standard.  All the usual places people like to be smooth these days.  It’s near the bottom where things get weird.  In the add-ons.  Here, for the bargain price of $20, you can be “vajazzled,” which apparently means they will “bling your thing with swarovski crystals.”

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Just… just… why?  Is this a thing now?  I mean, obviously it is, but is it a popular thing?  Is this what all the other women are doing these days?  Am I behind the times with my crystal-free lady parts?  (If I am, I’m pretty sure I don’t want to catch up with the times.  Call me old-fashioned.)

The mind boggles.