Let’s Make English Better

Sometimes I think it would be great if people just banded together to make things better.  And I’m not talking here about big things.  I’m not talking about revolutions or unions or protests that fight major injustices (although those can be good too.)

I’m talking about little things that pretty much everyone hates.  And if everyone hates something, why can’t we just all agree to stop supporting it?  And then maybe it’ll go away.

I think we could start with language.  And we’ll go with English, because that’s the one I know the best.  Now, we all know that English has some seriously repulsive words in it.  I like to think that which words these are qualify as objective fact, but I have been told that my opinions are not necessarily the same as other people’s.  (This always comes as a shock to me.  I know there are people out there who “think it’s only me,” but I’m the opposite.  I assume everyone is exactly like me in thought and emotion and am always startled when shown that this isn’t the case.)  But I’m going to assume that at least some of the words that I hate are hated universally, even if they all aren’t.

So, here is my list of the top five words that I hate.  Every single one of them makes my stomach turn when I hear it.  If you hate any of them too, please join me in a silent attempt to make the English language (and life, generally) lovelier by agreeing never to utter these words again.

  1. Fester
  2. Larva
  3. Pus
  4. Meatloaf
  5. Moist

What do you think?  Will you join me in eradicating these words?  Is this a good list?  Or do I just have issues?  Maybe you think these words are all fine.  Are you psychoanalyzing me now, based on this list?  (If so, what have you deduced?)  Are there worse words I left out?  Do you have other words that, when you hear them, just make you miserable?  Please share.

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4 thoughts on “Let’s Make English Better

  1. What does everyone have against the word “moist?” Seriously? I hear all the time that people don’t like that one, but I don’t know… I think it’s kind of fun. I don’t like the words: Bush, Palin, FOX, O’Reilly, Newt, GOP, or “moral fiber” when used to defend bigotry. But this might all be U.S.-specific English. 😉

    I think we desperately need a gender-neutral pronoun to describe people. This is a HUGE English flaw. We have “he” or “him,” we have “she” or “her,” but we don’t have something that could describe a man or a woman besides “it,” which is technically an object – not a human. This has given me an eye twitch since age 11.

    • OH! Actually! A friend of mine went to a diversity awareness event the other week that had a focus on queer culture and there actually *are* gender-neutral pronouns. (News to me.) Ze and hir. I thought it was a little weird, but I’m not some poor trans person getting called “it” either. Anyway, there you go. Use them. Have fun.

      I don’t know what it is about “moist.” Brings to mind something at the bottom of the sink that I don’t want to clean up.

      Your list makes me laugh. Is your problem actually with the words themselves? Have those words now been ruined for you? I’ve got to say, I quite like “moral fibre.” Sounds like something you should be able to put on your cereal to make you a better person.

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