I’m just going to put this out there to protect the innocent.

So.  I coloured my hair the other night.   Medium brown with a bit of red in it, which is pretty close to my natural colour except that my hair has been going grey since I was 24 and I’m still too vain to give in to it just yet.  I did it myself from a box, and in the middle of the process I dropped the applicator bottle and it hit my shirt on the way down.  It put a big stain on my shirt.

I am telling you this in case I randomly disappear, because frankly, that stain looks an awful lot like dried blood and under the wrong circumstances, and if I weren’t around to dispute the idea, someone might get the impression that I was stabbed in the stomach.  (Was I watching gangster movies on the weekend?  Yes, yes I was.)

Let me confirm that I was not and have never been stabbed in the stomach.  Or anywhere.  I actually work quite hard to avoid the types of situation that might result in a stabbing.  (Although I’ve been told that I accidentally stabbed my best friend in the hand with a pencil in the fifth grade.  I have no recollection of this, so I guess I blocked it out or something.  She, however — oddly enough — remembers it quite well.  She’s still my friend though, so I guess she didn’t hold it against me.)  Just now I briefly considered taking a photo of my stomach for you to show how wonderfully unstabbed it is, but I am just not that confident about my abs or lack thereof.  So you’ll just have to take my word for it.

I mean, I am writing this, so I think that’s some kind of proof anyway.

See this shirt here?  Not evidence of anything.

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6 thoughts on “I’m just going to put this out there to protect the innocent.

  1. LOL! I’ve had that same experience. I used to dye my hair dark red and my “dying” shirt looked like something out of a horrow movie. Damn those early onset grays (I’m 27 and my “tinsel” pokes through like clockwork every eight weeks)!

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