Things That Can’t Possibly Be So But That I Seem to Believe Deep Down Regardless

I would like to think that I am a rational type, but on second glance, it’s possible that I’m just not.

Here is a list of some things I believe that indicate I may not be quite in touch with reality:

• If the weather has been nice, I can’t let go of the idea that if I comment on the fact that we have had a nice few days, this will automatically trigger rain.  I can also do damage control here by whispering my comment instead of saying it in a regular voice.  I also think my umbrella is a magic talisman and if I carry it around it will keep away the rain, but if I leave it at home, it will rain.  Because of this, I sometimes take it with me, motivated entirely by the common good.  Yup, you read that right, folks – apparently I believe I can control the weather.  If that’s not hubris for you, I don’t know what is.

• On a similar vein, if I say anything positive or optimistic, something will go horribly wrong.  For example, I have back problems.  They come and go and at their worst are extremely painful.  It’s been several months since I have had serious problems with it, but I don’t want to talk about it because if I say it’s been good, then clearly my back demons are going to come back.  I also don’t like to talk about my marriage too much.  It’s actually pretty great, but I’m afraid that if I say that out loud, my husband will get hit by a bus or seduced by a Bond girl.  And that would be truly unfortunate.

• Birds are smarter than we give them credit for and I think they are planning something.  It’s going to be big and it’s going to be bad.  So I try to keep an eye on them.  Especially those crows.  Crafty buggers.

• If my throat hurts, wearing a scarf will help.

• If junk food is brown, it is better for me than junk food of any other colour.  The worst junk food is anything pink, purple, or blue.

• If I hold my breath and hold really still, I become invisible.

Ha ha!  I made that last one up.  I’m not that nutty.  (I used to hope it though, walking home from school past the yards of people who had scary dogs that weren’t tied up.)

But all those other ones, I seem to believe them even though I know they don’t really make any sense.

What does that say about a person who readily admits there is a mountain of logic against something and yet can’t let go of the belief?  Am I alone in this?