My Loofah Isn’t Manly Enough For You?

Oh my.  I just went to the drug store, and do you know what I saw?  This:

Now, I like loofahs.  They are handy things in the shower.  You can get up a nice lather and exfoliate all in one go.  They let you trade in your bar soap (slippery, dangerous, mucky to clean up when it gets wet and turns into slime in your soap dish) for shower gel.

Unfortunately for some, they are generally sold with fruity-smelling bath things and often come in pastel colours.  Therefore, there are some people who, rather than viewing the loofah as the useful thing that it is and employing it accordingly, choose to view it as a “girl thing.”

The problem with that is there are some guys out there who are concerned that if they are seen in too close of a proximity to “girl things,” that they might somehow magically either become gay or turn into a girl (shock! horror!)  I like to think that most guys do know better, and I also think that this kind of idiocy should not be encouraged.

It would seem that the good people over in the Axe marketing department think otherwise though, god bless their cynical little hearts.  I have a clear picture in my mind of how that brainstorming meeting* went:

Marketing guy #1: I like these loofah things, but only women are buying them.  Why?  Why?

Marketing guy #2: Because they are girly.  Look, this one is pink and that one is pale blue.  If men use pink things in the shower, they will turn gay.

Marketing guy #3 [with concern]: Really?  I didn’t know that!  The surgeon general should put that on the label!  Well, how can we make them manlier?

Marketing guy #2: Let’s make one in black and red like guns and blood.

Marketing guy #1 [getting a bit excited]: Good idea!  And we’ll describe it as a “shower tool,” so they can pretend they’re making something.

Marketing guy #3 [very enthused now]: Oohh, yeah!  Let’s call it the “detailer!”  That sounds like it has something to do with cars!  And we’ll charge twice as much as for a normal one!

Marketing guy #2:  Wait – why are we charging twice as much?

Marketing guy #3: Because we can!

Marketing guy #1:  Yay!  Chest bumps everyone!

[Chest bumps all around.]

A glorious day indeed.

*Note: I have never been to a marketing meeting before.  This dialogue is just how I imagine marketing meetings go.

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10 thoughts on “My Loofah Isn’t Manly Enough For You?

  1. I’m still not quite sure what a loofah is, but you make it sound so interesting. From the picture it sure looks like a tool. A tool that might turn you gay? gee! I’ll ask Parvin…

  2. I personally think that a square small face towel does the same as a loofah, and since you can wash it everyday like normal towels, they are more hygienic.
    And much much cheaper, since the old towels exfoliates even better! And ecologic!

    But I did buy two loofahs to get to this conclusion.
    Sorry, maerketing guys, must find something better to sell, ok?

  3. I’m so tired of loofah discrimination. I’m a guy but I describe myself as a feminist. I’ve been buying loofahs and other bathing accessories since I was 16 and have never had an issue with the fact that they were marketed to women, in fact I prefer the light-hearted colors and scents. But this axe accessory is ridiculous! First of all, it’s two-sided with a wash cloth on one side and a loofah on the other. Leave it to MEN to re-invent the wheel (the original wasn’t enough?). Also, really red and blue?!?! Who would ever wash with those colors, an insecure little girly man is who! Im glad the author distinguished that the Axe line is owned by a man only company who obviously talk like jersey shore charicatures, while the company that makes pretty, non-sexist pink loofahs is run by smart women, totally separate from those Axe gorillas!

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