In My Solitude

A typical Junior Certificate exam hall.

Okay. My exam room will look nothing like this. But the feeling is the same.

Today is Saturday.  On Monday morning I have an exam.  I am moderately prepared, meaning that if I were to write the exam now, I would probably get about 70%.  My goals are significantly loftier than that, however, so my weekend will be spent studying.  (So why are you writing here instead of studying now, Stephanie?  Well, annoying disembodied voice of my guilty conscience, it’s a scientifically proven fact that if you spend an entire weekend doing nothing but studying, your brain will explode.  So you just be quiet now.)

Coinciding brilliantly with my need for a lack of distractions this weekend, my husband has gone to one of the nearby islands with some of his friends to participate in manly activities such as grilling burgers and drinking beer and… actually, I don’t know what guys do when girls aren’t around.  I did read Lord of the Flies though, so I don’t think I really want to know.

Anyhow, what this means is I am all on my own until tomorrow sometime.  I don’t have plans to see anyone, and I don’t think I’m going to make any either.  So it is conceivable that in the time between when I left work yesterday and Sunday, I will not talk to another person.

For me, this is not a normal state of affairs.  I’ve never lived alone.  When I moved out of my childhood home I had roommates for years.  Then I moved in with my husband (then boyfriend.)  So there are things about not having anyone around that freak me out.  For example, if I go out and get kidnapped, no one will realize that I didn’t show up at home when I was supposed to and know to call the police.  That’s never happened yet though, so I’ll work on the assumption that it won’t happen today either.

But here are the nice things about being on my own for a bit:

  1. I will play the music I like and that certain other people do not like and I will not feel self-conscious about imposing it on anyone else.
  2. Ditto food.  That’s right.  I just decided to have asparagus for dinner.
    Asparagus asparagus (can you do the fandango)

    Mmm. Asparagus.

  3. No bad moods.  This is not to imply that my husband puts me in a bad mood, but rather that a bad mood does not exist without another person to expose it.  I know this because I have had days where I thought I was in a fine mood and then someone said something stupid on the bus and I felt a strong desire to kick that person.  Now, if I were not in a bad mood, that feeling wouldn’t have been there.  But if I had not come in contact with that person, I wouldn’t have known I was in a bad mood.
  4. I get to be boring.  Actually, this weekend it is my job to be boring, as I will be studying.  When people are around, I try to be an interesting person.  I consider it common courtesy to not bore the people around you.  I think (I hope) I mostly succeed in this.  At the same time, there is something extremely appealing about not having the pressure of being interesting.  This weekend I can (and might) stare at the wall for half an hour.  And no one will ask me why.
  5. I might not wash my breakfast dishes until after lunch.  In fact, I think that one just became probable.

So I’m quite happy about my weekend to myself.  I wouldn’t want it to become a full-time thing, of course.  I think my husband is swell and it’s nice to have him around.  Also, I have a very short attention span, and even though I am fairly comfortable entertaining myself for a while, that only stays shiny for so long.  I like having other people around to entertain me too.

Anyway, now I must go and fill my brain with fascinating facts about payroll compliance legislation.  I’m sure you’re all very jealous.  Happy Saturday!

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