I have big plans for the Sunday ahead. Exciting ones, but I will give no more details than that so there will be some suspense.
Because of my big plans, I found myself in need of those rubber shoe things you use for the beach when the beach is something other than sandy and lovely. My life up until now has never required this particular type of footwear, and I had some free time last night, so it seemed a good time for a rubber-shoe seeking quest.
The question is, where does one find rubber shoes at 9:00 pm on a Tuesday night? Sad to say, my best bet seemed to be Walmart, partly because it was open and partly because I couldn’t think of anywhere else that would sell rubber shoes. Now, I know there are a lot of people who love Walmart. It’s cheapish and has almost anything you could think of wanting, such as rubber shoes, to pick a completely random example. I am not among these people. There are quite a few reasons, but for the sake of brevity, we’ll just say that I prefer to support local businesses if I can and that the fluorescent lighting in that place makes me feel like my fellow shoppers and I have contracted some horrific plague. Also, it just has an undefinable quality that starts to depress me the second I walk in. So I try to keep my visits short and well-spaced.
It was exactly as it has been every other time I have been there, ghastly lights included. I asked the greeter guy where I might find rubber shoes. I’m sure I could have figured it out, but I value expediency, and I think it’s nice to acknowledge these people and give them a purpose. We followed his accurate directions to the shoe section via the seasonal aisles. As it is summer, garden ornaments seemed to loom large in this section. Fairies straddling various animals with light-up body parts are apparently very popular this season. From a purely aesthetic standpoint, it occurred to me that plague might not be such a bad idea after all.
Jackpot in the shoe section. There were rubber shoes galore, in a lovely array of ultra-glamourous neon colours. We quickly found shoes that fit while also meeting our strict high-fashion requirements. Golden, I thought. In and out in five minutes. Silly me. Following standard procedure, Walmart was using its very scientific method of dividing the number of customers in the store by 32,715 and putting that many cashiers on. So another ten minutes was spent in the ten items or less line. And then we were free to go out into the beautiful evening. (I love the long days of summer.)
I noticed a strange and sad thing though. Between the exit on the Walmart and the actual outside was an area with the glass doors at both sides. In it were benches facing into the Walmart. All of the benches were full of people. I don’t get it. Let me provide some context here: This was a seriously gorgeous night, mild and without a cloud in the sky. Mere steps away was a lovely grassy area that also had benches to sit on. If someone can explain why people would choose the Walmart benches, please do, because I am mystified and rather dismayed about what it may say about people.
But as folks are so fond of saying, it is what it is. I now have my rubber shoes (very comfortable, by the way – I’m tempted to wear them to work) and am prepared for great adventure. Stay tuned to find out what it is. Same bat time. Same bat channel.